


Love of my life

by Justafewthingstosay



Series: Let's say the ineffable [2]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: First Kiss, Just talk to each other you dumbasses, Love Confessions, M/M, Pining, Song fic - Love of my Life (queen), THe bentley is sick of their shit, This is pretty bad I have the feeling, i wrote this at 2 am
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-21
Updated: 2019-06-21
Packaged: 2020-05-15 15:59:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19299013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Justafewthingstosay/pseuds/Justafewthingstosay
Summary: Sometimes, the things we are closest to try to tell us something.





	Love of my life

**Author's Note:**

> I had this idea while I was walking my dog and then I started writing it and I have the feeling it didn't go super great, but fuck it who cares? Am I right?

“I’m going home, angel! I’m getting my stuff and leaving and when I’m off-” he opened the car door, still staring at Aziraphale. “-I -I won’t even think about you!” he yelled, throwing himself into the Bentley and taking off. 

 

He took off his sunglasses and rubbed his eyes, the Bentley taking him where he needed to go. Driving it was almost second nature to Crowley and he knew London like the back of his hand. 

 

“Stupid angel,” Crowley muttered, his jaw clenched and his eyes trained angrily on the road. “We could just leave, spend the rest of our time away-” his breath that he didn’t need, caught itself in his throat. “We could have spent it together.” 

 

At that moment, the Bentley’s radio suddenly came to life. A soft piano tune playing, that was accompanied by the strumming of a guitar. 

 

_ Love of my life, you’ve hurt me _

 

_ You’ve broken my heart and now you leave me  _

 

Crowley scowled at the radio and turned it off, only for it to spring to live seconds later, continuing the tune.

 

_ Love of my life, can’t you see?  _

 

_ Bring it back, bring it back. _

 

_ Don’t take it away from me, because you don’t know what it means to me.  _

 

Crowley growled, shutting the radio off again. “Oh, Shut it!” ‘He doesn’t feel the same anyway’ he added in his head, not saying it aloud, because saying it would make it true and he didn’t want it to be, even though he knew it was. 

 

(Well, he thought it was. Cause you see, Crowley normally was a very perceptive demon, but when it came to Aziraphale, you could tell that Crowley didn’t read books. Because Aziraphale was an open one, the truth so obvious in everything he did. But Crowley, being Crowley, seemed to black out the text and write his own, riddled with doubt and fear.) 

 

Crowley is sure, that he has messed something up between them, that he fell off the thin line that their friendship lived upon, but when Aziraphale called him when Hastur was in his flat, his heart jumped, thankful for the angels forgiving nature. 

 

Therefore it hurt him, even more, when he had to hang up on him. But he thought that Aziraphale might forgive him for that too if he knew that he did it to save his life. 

 

He might not though if he knew that Crowley was on his way towards the bookshop right now, thinking that maybe, if he just asked him once more, that he would join him. That they could run off together. Live the truth that they have been denying not just each other, but also themselves.

 

But those hopes in Crowley burned out like a flame when he saw the bookshop. This institution of Aziraphale’s love for earthly pleasures, burning to the ground. 

 

Once in the shop, passing the firefighters on his way in, Crowley felt like he was back at the day of his fall. Flames licking on the soles of his shoes, heat attacking his face as if it was trying to eat him alive. 

 

His wings tucking into themselves, so terrified of the memory of being charred beyond recognition. 

 

But most importantly, the one thing that made it feel like his fall, was the absolute feeling of uselessness, of being stripped of every possibility to stop what was happening. The taste of Heaven’s power on his tongue. 

 

At that moment it hit Crowley, Heaven had taken Aziraphale from him, his only acquaintance, his unrequited love. His best friend. 

 

“They killed my best friend,” he yelled. His entire body was shaking and he wasn’t sure if it was because of the fire that was surrounding him, or because of the fire that burned inside him. The fire that was normally fueled by his love for Aziraphale, now sustained by his hatred against Heaven, against Hell and most importantly against himself. If he had just convinced Aziraphale to come with him, to join him, this wouldn’t have happened. If he had picked up his call, maybe he would have been able to save him. 

 

But now it was too late to live in maybe’s and what if’s, so he just screamed: 

  
“BASTARDS!”

 

He gave himself a moment, feeling the last bit of Aziraphale's love fading before he grabbed Agnes’ book of Prophecies and walked outside. 

 

He didn’t stop when the firefighters started talking to him, it felt like he was deaf, the only thing he could hear was the flickering of the flames and his own heartbeat. He had lost everything. 

 

He threw open the door to the Bentley, tossing the book on the passenger seat, that was normally filled with the angel that had made all of this worth it, but not anymore.

  
There was no reason any more to go to Alpha Centauri, there was no reason to fight in the war. For Crowley all reasons to stay alive, stay safe, had died with his best friend. 

 

So he just turned the key in the ignition and started driving. 

 

He almost didn’t hear it, when the soft piano started playing again. His brain still too focused on losing Aziraphale, that he could hardly comprehend the music, the first verse passing before the chords shook him out of his shock.

 

_ Love of my life, don't leave me _

 

_ You’ve taken my love and now desert me, _

 

“He didn’t mean to,” Crowley absentmindedly answered the song, knowing that Freddie Mercury couldn’t hear him, but he didn’t say it to Freddie. He tried to convince himself. 

 

_ Love of my life, can’t you see? _

 

“He never really saw.”

 

_ Bring it back, bring it back.  _

 

_ Don’t take it away from me, because you don’t know what it means to me.  _

 

Before the next verse could even start, Crowley pulled into a small parking space and walked into the next pub he could find, ordering the hardest liquor that they had on the menu. There was no point in running anymore. No point in being sober. 

 

Aziraphale was gone and with him, Crowley’s will. Crowley’s plan. Crowley’s happiness.

  
  
  


But suddenly Aziraphale was back. He was back and with him was the love that fueled Crowley’s flame. 

 

As he watched his angel eat at the Ritz, offering Crowley bites that he mostly denied until the angel pouted and Crowley tried them, he was hit by a realisation. Nothing could stop him anymore, nothing and no one could stop Crowley from telling Aziraphale how he felt.

 

Well, nothing and no one except Crowley himself, whose throat closed up when he tried to speak his truth to the angel. 

 

What if he destroyed what they had? What if he lost him again?

 

No, he couldn’t possibly tell Aziraphale. He couldn’t lose him again, so he just watched him eat, smiling at the jokes that the angel made, offering snide comments, making fun of Gabriel as if it was second nature to him.

 

It felt like home to Crowley and if he had to keep quiet to keep this feeling. He would.

 

But while he could keep quiet, there was someone, well something that couldn’t. 

 

After their dinner, where Crowley ate barely anything, but still insisted on paying, they walked together to the Bentley. The demon and the angel sitting down on those familiar but someone unfamiliar seats, as Aziraphale spoke up.    
  
“Crowley, I- I’m sorry that you lost your best friend.” 

 

Crowley sat back in disbelieve, his eyebrows poking over his glasses. 

 

“You can’t really be that stupid, right, Angel?” 

 

When Aziraphale didn’t respond, but just pulled a confused face, Crowley laughed softly. “You’re my best friend, Angel. And since your back now everything's fine again.”   
  


Before the Angel could respond, the radio came to life. Both of the celestial beings stared at it because the Bentley wasn’t turned on yet. 

 

_ You will remember, when this is blown over _

 

_ And everything's all by the way  _

 

_ When I grow older  _

 

_ I will be there by your side to remind you _

 

_ That I still love you _

 

They sat through the verse, both of them staring at the radio, dumbfounded. 

 

“It’s been doing that, just turning on, since the Apocalypse started,” Crowley mentioned when the verse suddenly started looping. 

 

_ I will be there by your side to remind you  _

 

_ How I still love you _

 

Another beat of silence followed until the two last lines repeated again and in his frustration, Crowley softly hit the radio, thinking that the CD might just have a scratch, but as he opened his mouth to say it Aziraphale interrupted him.

 

“It isn’t the CD.” 

 

“What?”

 

“This song, it’s not on the CD that you normally have in there,” Aziraphale stared, his ears a soft pink, because he knew exactly what was going on, but was too scared to ask Crowley if he knew too.

 

They sank back into silence again, well as silent as the Bentley could be when Freddie Mercury’s voice kept repeating the same two lines of a song. 

 

This silence wasn’t like their usual silences. It was awkward, it was loaded. It felt like a lead blanket was laying atop of them.

 

When Crowley managed to find his words, his hands were trembling, his palms were sweaty, a sensation he had never felt before.

 

“I still do, you know that right?” His voice was just above a whisper as he forced himself to turn his head towards Aziraphale.

 

When he looked at Aziraphale, he didn’t see what he was expecting. The Angel was barely an inch away from his face, sitting at an awkward angle on the passenger seat, staring deep into Crowley’s eyes. 

 

They didn’t notice that the song continued as Aziraphale carefully took off the Demons glasses and put them on the dashboard of the car. 

 

“I want to see your eyes,” Aziraphale smiled, before closing his eyes, which Crowley would have questioned, if Aziraphale hadn’t closed the gap between them, pushing his lips against Crowley’s. 

 

The demon needed a minute to catch on before he closed his eyes and kissed his angel.

 

Their kiss wasn’t what those stories make first kisses ought to be. There were no fireworks, there was no lingering taste on the other one's lips. 

  
There were just two clumsy pairs of lips, moving against each other, trying to find a rhythm, there were hands, tangled in hair and holding on to the side of faces. There was a pain in their backs from the weird angle they sat at.

 

There were two people, so absolutely and wonderfully in love that even though their first kiss was clumsy. It was perfect. It felt like home.

 

And when they separated, they stared into each other's eyes, yellow meeting blue, hell meeting heaven. And they were happy. 

 

“I still love you too, my dear,” Aziraphale said as if it was something he had said hundreds of times before, and he had, just never to the demons face. 

 

As Aziraphale moved back into a proper seating position it felt like nothing had changed, because, well, nothing really had changed, except that now Crowley only had one hand at the steering wheel, while the other one was intertwined with the angels beside him. 

 

And as Crowley drove them back to Aziraphale’s book shop, the song finally played its final verse. 

 

_ Hurry back, hurry back _

_  
_ _ Don’t take it away from me  _

 

_ Because you don’t know, what it means to me. _

 

_ Love of my life _

 

_ Love of my life. _

**Author's Note:**

> Let them be in love and I'm happy.   
> If you want more of my dumb stuff, you can find me on[Tumblr!](https://marveldevil.tumblr.com/) or [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Justthingstbh)  
> Come say hi if you want to, or send me a prompt!


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